Happy Birthday

It's your birthday and I forgot. I'm sorry.

 

I wonder if you celebrate birthdays in heaven or if you celebrate your deathday. I hope it's not called that if you do. I'd like to believe we would have hung out tonight, maybe had a fire and sang weird Harry Potter parodies, lit illegal fireworks not caring about burning the neighborhood down, or maybe we would have gone and ridden that puke green double schwinn bike in Smiths. 

 

 

 

Sometimes I  can picture your face so clearly it's like I saw you two days ago, and not two years. Your voice stopped coming though. Why? 

People still ask the standard questions like how and when and did you know he was struggeling. I don't mind answering, I would be curious.

I guess a defect to being human is caring more about how people died than how they lived.

In Paris it's going to be different. I want you to know that.

 

 

 

You gave me a cinnamon roll for my birthday so I got you a rose.

 

 

Happy Birthday

 

 

Unpopular opinions

I support the dress code, because I would get in trouble for wearing anything else at home anyways.

Dinosaur chicken nuggets are not delicious.

I love Miley Cyrus more now than when she was normal, I also want her hair.

American Fork has a better student section and that makes me really sad.

Love should not be limited.

Platonic friendships are possible.

I don't think Lone Peak is full of stuck up rich kids, just misunderstood ones.
Sometimes I prefer being called hot.

Fall is not my favorite season.

Lana Del Rey is better than Beyoncé.

I hate swim suits.

Pepsi beats Coke any day.

Hiking is my least favorite activity.

I believe all humans have some good in them.

You should always be able to say how you really feel.

Rainbow in a box

I grew up backwards.

I always colored softly when I was little, as not to ruin the crayons. No one likes the crayon boxes with ripped edges and different sized wax. Other kids didn't mind though, they snapped their crayons like my mom snaps her gum.

 But then I changed

Now I don't mind the imperfect colors, I still like the shiny new packs, but in a different way. In a sad way. They don't know what their missing. I won't say "their imperfections are pretty" but crayons aren't meant to sit in a box and be pretty. It's not about what they look like, but what they can do and what they can make. So why is the world trying to teach us that being 'pretty' is more important than living and learning.

The white crayon grew up thinking she had less potential than the blue one, when all that she needed was a different colored paper. 





Boys Talk

I miss you, but not because you're gone, but because I know if you were here it wouldn't be the same. I opened the door and offered to show you around, but you couldn't stay... you had work in fifteen. 

You aren't allowed to be in love in high school. So it wasn't love. Sometimes though, I wonder if it would have been, if it wasn't high school. 


Do you ever regret having a fancy job? Ever think about leaving and coming home... I mean mentally coming home. I mean, "How was your day and don't tell me good".  I mean no football or baseball or 
hey you're in charge thanks bye.  
I mean, want to go to dinner and not just talk about the food and the neighbors. I keep reminding you that we only have a year, but you keep reminding me how many people are at the table and how their fortune is more important than mine. 

Tall.Dark.Handsome

Behind the church. 

It's not even bad.

Okay.

It tasted like candy.

He lied. 

There was no tree house only rocks and dirt.

But even after I had washed off all the dirt and the blood from my lip I still didn't feel clean.

I learned the next day that there are no double dates in Salt Lake because "What if something happens?".   

I let my apathetic soul take control. 

And when I came back I looked more at people's eyes, wondering if they could see the change I feel.