The truth is:

I'm scared of the happy faces and sad posts.
i'm scared of cuts on wrists and the thought of people cutting their wrists
I'm scared because I've never had trouble sleeping, but staying awake.

i'm scared of  high school boys because i know how they talk about girls

I'm scared I won't fall in love, but even more scared I will. 

i'm scared i'll regret my career choice

The hole in my chest is getting too big, and I'm scared I'll forget what it feels like to live.

if this is all life has to offer, i'm scared

I'm scared I'm counting the hours to my death.
i'm scared of being old, and dying young
I'm scared I want too much and because of that happiness will always be on the tip of my tongue.
i'm scared of being happy
I'm scared my mom was right when she said I don't have any real relationships in my life.
i'm scared I've accepted it 



We're all scared though, and there's a comfort in that.

I don't know how

You're probably here to learn about...

How to fall in love-
How to change a tire-
How to public speak-
How to protect your heart-
How to keep your soul-
How to be cultured-
How to gain a testimony-
How to be hipster-
How to stay strong-
How to not care-

You're looking for answers but did you ever think I'm just as human as you?
Because the fact is we

• Break hearts
• Crash cars
• Stutter
• Let down walls
• Sell our souls
• Hide
• Lose hope
• Yearn to fit in
• Cry
• Do care

So here's what you need to know

Live life without a manual.

Look for people's hearts.

Don't be afraid to be happy.

Choose love, because I won't.

Letter to a friend

How do you tell someone they just aren't enough anymore?

It wasn't you and it wasn't me, maybe the moon pulls more than the tide, and honey I'm tired. 

Organic milk but not friendship. I'm sorry.  We planned A like we wouldn't need B, 

but fate intervened and now I don't know where to sit. 

Does anyone know the conversion rate of how fast time can heal twelve years? 

I know it's somewhere in-between a pathetic life and Saturday night. 

11:11 never did it for me and maybe that's why we're here, watching the lightning and listing to another apology ft. me.

My heart requires an extension chord because getting too close can leave marks, and I don't know how many more of those it can handle. 

I'm afraid the infection has spread because we haven't talked in weeks and I'm starting to call you mom. 

Try not to think of it as collateral damage because I'm doing this for both of us.
I'm doing this for both of us. 

Maybe one day I'll find a cure and you will be the first to know so don't wander too far, maybe just an I-Love-You away.
Because I miss those moments, and when they return remember to take me like your tea, often and with ease.
Mr. Frost failed to mention there are multiple roads less traveled and maybe that's why I've gotten lost so many times.

You were always enough.
I know that now. And because I do I hope to see you soon.



Yours truly-Elizabeth Grant

Modern Day Heroes

I often wonder what the men and woman running towards the twin towers were thinking about, and if I would have been one of them.

I'm sure they weren't thinking about the praise they would receive if they made it out.
Neither was Mindy Tran, "It was all for my kids". Even if that meant a broken leg, hip, and shoulder.
Nor Christian Gunter or Robert Kuba.
And then some don't make it out and because of it 1,500 others do.


I want to believe I would be brave enough to do what these modern day heroes did, but the truth is, in the last 30 years the capability for people to empathize has decreased dramatically and maybe I'm just a side effect of evolution.

The ability to empathetically and altruistically act in these situations is considered unique, 'hipster'.
But these hipsters didn't act because it was different and cool, they did what they thought was right and acted on who they were. How beautiful it would be to live in a world with people focused more on love than hate.

No one talks about how these heroes suffer and how sometimes walking alone isn't easy. Because who do you talk to about the dreams and the shaking and the unwanted anger towards the 1,500 who lived while your baby had to die.

At the end of the day you get to choose who you want to be. 

I want to be less human. 

Things that need work

• Laughing at church
• Only apologizing when it's my fault
• Saving money
• Being 'punctual'
• Saying enough without saying too much
• My hair
• Buying heels that don't make dad uncomfortable
• Dropping my phone less
• Cleaning my room more
• Visiting the cemetery with a letter
• Texting back 
• Packing up my room
• Remembering words
• Being adventurous 
• Wearing earrings
• Listening to music at a normal volume
• Appreciating winter
• Painting my nails
• Accepting it's okay to not be okay.